I’ll prefix this post by stating I am super happy in my current relationship. However, for a long time I bounced from one date to another thinking that there wasn’t anyone out there who would be the right fit for me.
However, looking back, as many bad dates I went on and frogs I kissed- i learned alot from each of them.
The Frat Boy
Being in a sorority and single I don’t think I could have not fallen for a frat guy. At first, I never saw myself with this boy, but after a drunken night at a party sitting and talking on his bed (and more than a little kissing) I wanted to make it work. We would hang out occasionally but were never really an item. Soon after I learned he had another girl sleeping in his bed. I regretted being stubborn and not making a more serious move. It taught me to go after someone if I wanted them.
The Married Man
At my last job, I worked a ton of hours- spending early morning and late night hours pouring over brochure edits. Most of the time I was alone- often the last person out of the office. One night, while I was working on putting together a video presentation, I saw a coworker of mine working late. We chatted and hung out. In the weeks following we text a lot and when he invited me to go see a movie I said sure.
We ended up going back to my place after, drinking a few bottles of wine, and having a super awkward makeout session (it was like he was trying to eat my face). After that when he asked me to hang again I always made excuses.
It wasn’t until three months after he stopped working for the company that I found out he had a wife and kids he hid from me. Well… thanks for teaching me to internet stalk every new person in my life. It’s actually come in handy when it comes to hiring someone for a job.
The First Guy I Thought I’d Marry
I learned alot from The longest relationship I had before Derek (my current boyfriend). We met when he was president of his fraternity and I was president of my sorority. I had already gone on dates with Frat guys and sworn never again. Something about him was different. He was caring, romantic and smart. He told me he loved me only a few weeks into us dating. I thought I had found the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
However, our relationship quickly took a turn for the worst. He always accused me of cheating on him (I wasn’t!), called me a slut for wanting to go out dancing, and said the only way he felt loved by me was when I had sex with him. He convinced me that every issue we had in our relationship was my fault. When I tried to leave him the first time he told me he would kill himself if I did. The road out of that relationship was bumpy. But I learned I didn’t need to stay with someone who didn’t make me happy.
The Sugar Daddy
I don’t mean an actual sugar Daddy, well.. not intentionally. I met a man in a Starbucks line- he paid for my pumpkin spice latte without telling me and had the barista write his number on my cup. I was flattered and surprised. We met for a date at a fancy restaurant downtown Vancouver, drank expensive bottles of wine, and shared stories of our lives over oysters and duck. At the end of our date, he kissed me passionately and walked me to my car. He asked for my email, which at the time I didn’t give two thoughts to. When I got home there was an etransfer to my email with $300 and a text that said ‘I can’t wait to see you next time I’m in town’. Confused, I messaged him and he explained he was only in Vancouver a few times a year on business but wanted to see me when he was. I never called him back after he called me a few months later. I learned that there is no monetary value or expensive dinners that can cover how lonely it feels to sleep in a bed alone.
The Guy I Didn’t Know I went on A Date With
I was attending Capilano University when a guy in one of my creative writing classes asked me to go to a movie with him and a bunch of friends. I had (always) had a hard time making friends so I was super excited. I got to the theatre and he said no one else could make it- so it would just be us. I was so nieve I didn’t even question his motives until he tried to kiss me over a bucket of buttery popcorn. I felt super bad but I just wasn’t into him like that! I learned that I needed to pay more attention to what others expectations of situations were.
The Boring One
I once met a guy at a poetry reading. We hit it off right away and talked a huge portion of the night. I never gave him my number but he added me on Facebook fairly soon after. We went on a few dates but the last one was the most memorable – we went to see a silent film then after we went for a walk. As if the movie didn’t bore me enough when I went to start up a conversation he interrupted me by saying “I don’t want to talk- I’m still thinking about the use of expression in that movie” Needless to say I never messaged him back after that one. However, that experience did teach me that it was okay to take a chance on a random guy!
The Blind Date
I’ve only ever been on one blind date. My coworker had showed me pictures of a decent looking guy around my age- said he worked in sales and just hadn’t found the right girl. So I thought I would give it a try. I was utterly shocked when I met up for dinner with the guy and he was wearing sweatpants to a restaurant and didn’t have any teeth. What did I learn from this one? Never judge a book by his cover- he turned out to be an okay guy, I just couldn’t get over the teeth thing.
I had met a guy at a bar when I was out with a friend. He had seemed okay at first. But I never knew what was coming… I showed up to the restaurant for our date, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: “There’s a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?”
I told him I wouldn’t. He says he’s decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. I went to the liquor store, picked up wine for myself and went home.
I learned that sometimes staying home with a bottle of wine in a bubble bath beat trying to figure out men.